I wanted to start my prayer blog series on a high. Where prayer is a way of life. But that isn’t always the case. Sometimes prayer can be like praying through a thick fog, where you feel lost and encumbered. Then I came to the realisation that it is through the foggy times that I learn so much about prayer, that is when prayer becomes exciting.
There are times in the world when trying to get from A to B is all we can manage, and that is if we can get there at all and we don’t take an expected break at point A.1. Times where the world is saps the energy from you and even simple tasks are too much. Such as times of illness, or times are stress. Where prayer can be solace and a chore.
This is such a time for me. And so I began my journey into exploring new ways to pray through a book. I looked for inspiration for new ways to draw to God in the everyday. Ways that were accessible to not only who I am inside but also to who I am in this moment, in this time. And it failed. It more than failed, it nosedived into the deepest ocean. The book held no inspiration for me, no desire to grow in my prayer life. Actually, to be honest I didn’t even finish it.
Now I am not saying that the book wouldn’t work for anyone it just didn’t inspire me now. But where does that leave me? If God is in the everyday how do I access Him, when others say what I do isn’t enough?
There are no right or wrong answers to prayer. Prayer isn’t something you “take up” but more something that is. Prayer is everything from the cry out in pain; the searching for answers and hope to the opening of your heart to listening, or the brief moment of thought.
I liken this to the relationship I have with my husband. There are times we take to have those deep and meaningful conversations. But these take place in moment we are both able to do this mentally, physically and depending on the topic spiritually. Conversations that don’t happen in the everyday but in the times of importance. These aren’t the only conversations we have to make our relationship deep and meaningful. There are the little moments that we share. It may just be a look, or a small comment. It may be the whispered thanks or the opening of ourselves to just be in one another’s presence. If prayer is a way to make a relationship with God then this happens just as much in the everyday as it does in the deep and powerful moments of prayer. Forced and uncomfortable deep prayers can be just as harmful, as you face moments of inadequacy. Of moments where you feel not good enough or abandoned by the God who promised us that He would never do so and that we would always be good enough through the act of his son.
He is with you. In the dark, in the light. In the hard times and good. He faces the highs, the lows and the mundane with the same fierce love for you. And it doesn’t matter if you could write a PhD thesis on prayer or if the word prayer is something you never truly connect to. It is be opening your heart, your home and your time that matters most. Desire is sometimes is enough; being a mother can be enough.
So this week reflect on what space God has access to in your life. Is it only to the drama? The times of high and low? Or is to the mundane? To the person you are?
In my next blog I will look to explore different types of prayer and prayer and movement.